God’s Power Made Pefect
by Joanna, 16, Newton, NC
Walking along this road straight and narrow
I can’t help feeling proud,
And yet all this pride I have
Has put me in a cloud.
How can one who’s been set free
Still return to sin?
How can one who’s got so much
Choose to keep it in?
Every time I run ahead
I quickly step right back.
I think that I am strong and wise
Yet fall for an attack.
But when I think I can’t get worse
I glance back at the past.
I have been and am growing still
Even when it is not fast.
Everyday I’m learning more
Of what God wants from me.
Although things may seem hazy now,
One day I’ll finally see.
At times I look at myself,
And only see a wreck,
But it is in the weak like me,
God’s power’s made perfect.
Photography
by Becky, 16, Sevierville, TN
Mask
by Tamar, 14, Toronto, Canada
Double life is the first thing I hear after my nap in the middle of the sermon. I don’t know what it is I hear my pastor talk and I wipe out on the desk. It’s either her voice is very calming or what she’s talking about is very boring. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning, and I’m just too tired to care.
I hear the pastor start to talk again while I start to refocus into what she’s saying.
“We have to start coming out of our comfort zone. Youth, you have to try and stand out at your school -stop being hidden and acting like the rest of the world because there beliefs and our beliefs are different we have a different standard,” the pastor declared.
Standards I thought. I am a 14 year old girl who has never dated, never went to a dance, and has a lot of other things that are restricted. That’s what they are, there not standards there restrictions. It’s so hard to live this way, the world is rated R and I can’t watch the movie, even though it’s a really good one and I see no harm in it.
It’s a good thing no one from my church goes to my school. It’s not that I do anything bad it’s just...well; I’d rather keep my Christian life on the down low. Think about it, if my Christian life was just out there for people to see, I’d look like a total idiot, an outcast. I’d have NO friends, alone everywhere I go. My pastor and my parents don’t know how much high school has changed since they went. Its way harder out there for us, the media is always targeting us teens and with everybody consuming it, it’s hard to resist. It’s really easy to go in the wrong direction and end up off a cliff. But hey, what do I know I’m just a kid.
Monday comes and I’m in my first period class. My mind still resting on what the pastor said yesterday. I’m awaken by one of my class mates, Kevin.
“Hey, the teachers gone,“ he says, just loud enough for everyone to hear. Suddenly, the volume in the class room increases. I can now here what everybody is talking about. Who broke up with who, who is now dating who, the lyrics to that ridiculous rap song and the inappropriate conversations people are talking about. I can especially here all the swearing that is going on. I don’t want to do it, but I do it anyway and begin to join them.
The bell rings and I quickly walk to my second period. I turn the corner and glance at someone who just had the bad luck of dropping their books in the middle of the hallway. As I turn back around facing the hallway ahead of me, I suddenly hear,
“JESUS CHRIST!”
The pierce in my heart stops me from taking another step.
I hate when people say that when something bad happens to them. I turn my head still dead in my tracks and realize that the boy who dropped his books was the one who said it. I look at him a little longer and started to make my way to Science.
Another two days went by similar. There was a couple of times I could of spoke up, but my mind kept bringing me back to all the reasons why I shouldn’t.
I came out of the car with my mom, dad, my sister and little brother, parked in the parking lot in front of our church for Wednesday Service. I’m the last person to get out of the car. By the time I’m done gathering my things my family is already at the door.
"Esther!" my mom calls," hurry up!" she continues and gets inside, me slowly following behind her.
As service went on, I kept hearing how everybody stood out at their school. It was like someone slowly eating away at your happiness. Everywhere I went I heard how someone stood up for Jesus and how their parents are SO proud of them. The pastor said mentioned it a couple of times in the sermon.
"I was sharing my blocks with everybody and my friend, Jack, asked why. I told him, because Jesus told me to," my brother said. My own brother was able to stand out at school. It hurt that I wasn't able to do the same.
I was awaken from a good night sleep, and started to get ready.
"Alright Esther, today is the day you stand up for Jesus. You can do this. If your brother can do it, so can you." I was determined to stand up and stand out.
After a half an hour journey, I make my way into the high school and the battle begins.
There is a big screech throughout the school and the person starts to talk on the P.A.
"Sorry for the interruption. A further announcement. There will be a bible study after school in room 318, all are welcome, in room 318. Thank you."
I looked around the class and see everybody with a smirk on their face, turn around and start to talk to each other. Immediately, I believed that they were all making fun at the fact of Christians and their "bible study." I bury my face in a book and pretend to read.
At the end of the day, I decide to go to room 318.
"It won't matter, as long as no one sees me," I say to myself, while walking cautiously. I approach the room and slowly open the door. I immediately recognize that there's about ten people in the group, all of which I don't know. I walk in and join the group. We then start discussing about the story of Noah's Ark. I quickly come back to reality and realize that I'm still peeking through the doorway. I slowly and quietly close the door.
"Sigh, I just can't do it," I say to myself, and then hopelessly walk away.
That evening while I was doing my math homework, I stumbled upon an equation. Me, plus standing out, equals an equation that is impossible to solve. My Mind is glued to my problems and I can't concentrate on my work. Finally, I decide to call my Pastor
"Hello," She answered.
"Hi, this is Esther."
"Hi Esther, what can I help you with?" she asks.
"Umm," I hesitate to continue. "I have been struggling this pass couple of weeks. I can't seem to stand out in class or stand up for Jesus."
"I see," she says.
She tells me that it's hard to help me with this situation because she can't be at the school with me. She told me that even though you're not a part of what they're doing, not speaking up is still a sin.
"Doesn't God deserve that much," she continues. "All the things he has provided for you, clothes, food, and a home. All the love and care Jesus has for you, it should be shared with the rest of the world."
She prays for me and I get off the phone. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.
I was hanging out with my friends, in the hallway, before school started. Someone who looked pretty ridiculous and weak walked by our group.
"Hey, you look pretty ridiculous in the clothes," my friends took this opportunity to lower her self esteem and started to make fun of her. I kept silent.
They then started making fun of her family and how they probably look ridiculous too. I don't know why they have to bring her family into this. The girl was just sitting there taking it, getting smaller with every word they said.
"Alright, that's enough guys," I said, trembling. I couldn't stand there and watch the girl take all the things that they were saying to her. It was as real and hurtful as if they were being said to me.
Everyone looked at me surprised that I had just turned against them. Even the girl that was being bullied was surprised.
"What did you just say Esther?" Nicole said, trying to be all big and bad all of a sudden.
"That's enough just let her go" I respond, the trembling decreases.
They stared at me for with the very recognizable "you are SO not in our group anymore" stare. I accepted it and moved on, they walked away.
I turn to look at the girl.
"You okay?" I asked, looking at the gratefulness in her eyes.
"Yes," she answered, "and thank You."
I nodded my head and was on my way to class.
In my gym class, we had to run laps on the track, it wasn’t easy. She was really making us work today.
“Let’s go! Let’s go!” my teacher yelled, like we were the horses and she was whipping us.
“Jesus Christ,” a boy said under his gasping breath. Another needle pierced through my heart but I was still able to run on. I slowed down just enough for the boy to reach me.
“Can you please not say Jesus Christ like that?” I ask him gently.
“I can say what I want to say. You can’t tell me what to say or not say,” he rudely tells me, thinking he’s all smart now.
“Yes but it offends me when you say that, because I’m Christian,” I reply. “So, can you please not say that,” I repeat.
“Whatever,” he says, and then starts to speed up. Even though, that’s all we said and he will probably say Jesus Christ again, I feel like I’ve won. I stood up for Jesus and I feel great. For the rest of my run I had a smile on my face.
Coming out of the change room I glance at a poster and the word I see is Gay. I look back and I take the time to read it. I suddenly get a thought in my head that can’t be ignored, but it will have to wait until after school to be dealt with.
After the dismissal bell rang I made my way to the principal’s office. My name was called, after a ten minute wait outside the office. I sat down and greeted the Vice Principal.
“Umm...I saw a poster in the middle of the hallway and it kind of got me thinking,” I say, as politely as I can. The principal nods signalling me to go on.
“The poster was about not being able to say gay negatively,” I say.
“Yes,” she says, wondering where I’m going with this.
“Well, I know we can’t say that because it offends people who are gay at our school,” I assume.
“Correct,” she replies, still acting like a dear in headlights. I decide to continue.
“So, why are people aloud to say Jesus Christ, it offends Christians?” I continue.
She then gives me this lame excuse saying, if we stopped them from saying all the things that offend somebody else, we wouldn’t have a lot to say. There are a lot of words that offend people. Taking that into consideration and pretending that was a good argument, I reply.
“Then why did you choose Gay people to protect, why just them?” I ask.
“Because it’s a very common saying that a lot of people use and it isn’t nice to say,” the vice principal explains.
“Yes,“ I say getting ready for a “but.” “But, a lot of people say Jesus Christ, too. When I hear it, it really gets me upset because you’re saying my God’s name in vain.” I argue, feeling proud of myself. She pauses for a moment and the silence is very awkward. She finally responds.
“You know what Esther, I think you’re right,” she says with a grin on her face. My face had one too.
I walked toward the room that said 318. I remembered the saying I said before. Maybe the world is rated R and it may seem harmless, but it is. I opened the door quietly and peeked through the door. I made my way to the group and I immediately counted 25 people there, all that I new.
The End