Here’s Barlow Girl On . . .
The title of their latest album, Love and War:

Becca: As we were writing the album, we kept hearing love and war. As we began praying into it, we just felt like we’re so good at fighting for what we believe in, but God kept showing us that we can’t do that without the one-on-one relationship and that intimate time with Him. That will just spur us on to want to fight for what He’s called us to do. If we don’t have love, then we can’t war.

Alyssa: We feel there’s an urgency to say, “The time is now. Our single years are moving by faster than we think.” We don’t want to get to the end of our carefree years and look back and say we wasted them or we missed something because all we wanted was comfort; all we craved for was temporary satisfaction and enjoyment. We feel that God is doing something great right now on the Earth and it’s time to really be part of what He’s doing.

Lauren: The song “Beautiful Ending” came out of a fear for us being in ministry. What if we get so focused on ministry that we forget about truly being in love with God? If we’re so focused on serving Him that we forget about loving Him, then it’s really not worth it. That’s what the song is about—at the end of everything, success doesn’t matter, numbers don’t matter, none of that stuff matters as long as we are in the arms of God.

What it means to embrace their destiny:
Alyssa: For us, it really helps having parents not telling us what we’re meant to do, but saying we’re meant for some- thing great. That sent us on a journey because we realized we weren’t here to just blend in.

There were things that I began to put on the shelf and say, “I don’t want that now. I’m going to put that aside and really just spend time praying or reading books.” I read a lot of books on men and women that made history: Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa. I was consumed by that! I would read books by people I knew were already walking that journey ahead of me. At 14 and 15, I was asking, “How can I set my sights on something greater?” In the midst of that I began to realize I had a gift of music. It’s a matter of weighing what can I do today to impact my future.

The advice they’d give to their 16-year-old selves:
Alyssa: I’ve always been a perfectionist, so I’d have told myself to still play, still have fun and not take myself so seriously. I’d have told Alyssa to realize that if she’s truly herself in front of people, that’s OK. People won’t like you more just because you look happy all the time or you always have a smile on your face. God isn’t looking for perfection—He’s looking for realness because that’s the only time He can really do something with you.

Becca: From 16 to 18 I struggled with depression and eating disorders. Looking back, I see those struggles were Satan trying to take me out so that I couldn’t get to where I am now. I hated who I was and who God created me to be. I thought I’d be happy if I could be somebody else. I’d say to myself, “You’ll turn out OK. Forget about the magazines. Forget about what people are telling you. Just crawl into the arms of the Lord. You’re going to be OK.”

Lauren: Being the baby, I struggled with identity stuff. I always compared myself to the girls, and I just wanted to be them. I’d tell myself to find out who you are because who you are is great! Pursue that and stop trying to be like everybody else.
   
How to deal with conflict in the band:
Lauren: If we have a problem, we work it out because we can’t go on stage mad at each other. I’m not saying we’re perfect at working everything out, but we know we have to work it out. Our relationships are way more important than being right in an argument.

Alyssa: We’re learned that when there’s conflict, whether you’re wrong or not, you have to be willing to talk about it until we find some kind of resolve. Even when you don’t think you’re wrong, asking for someone’s forgiveness is really important. Communication and being willing to apologize is definitely key to our relationships because when we’re upset with each other, our shows are terrible!

The not dating thing:
Lauren: Yes, that’s still something we’re committed to. We’ve still never kissed a guy or held a guy’s hand, and we’re all in our 20s. I know that when God calls me to something, He isn’t going to leave me high and dry. It gets scary some- times when we think, We’ve been not dating for quite a long time now, God. It would be nice if You’d bring somebody along. But I know God’s timing is perfect. It gets hard some- times, but I never regret making this decision.

Becca: Just last week I was struggling again with being almost 30 and being single. I opened the Bible and flipped to some verses about how I’m married to Him. He knows us so well! We simply need to put ourselves in a place of honesty and say, “OK God, what do You think of me? Tell me. Show me in Your Word what You have planned and how much You love me.”

Ashley Boyer is a publicist in Colorado Springs, Colo., but secretly wishes she were a rock star so she could tour with BarlowGirl.