Sometimes it’s tough to be a dog—not to mention one who writes. O.K., I don’t actually write. My paws have a little trouble with the keyboard. But my buddy Marti and I have a great relationship. I tell her what I want to say, and she types it out for me. Perfecto!
 

Perfecto, that is, until she made me a Facebook page. At first, I loved to connect with all the SUSIE Mag sisses. But lately, it’s been more burden than blessing.
 

First, there’s this “Friend Request” thing. I’m like any other dog—I don’t care whether my friends are dogs or people. After all, Mama says I’m both. The other day, a c-a-t (I refuse to say the word) snuck onto my page and friended me.
 

What’s up with that? Me – friends with one of those hissing, scratching, stuck-up creatures? Not in this lifetime. But in the virtual world, it’s already happened. How was I to know—no picture and some generic name? And what should I do now—defriend the stupid thing? Susie’d probably say that’s not what Jesus would do. Since when does Jesus have a Facebook, anyway?

And then you’ve got all the fan pages and groups. What’s up with all those? If you can’t sniff ’em, don’t join ’em. That’s what I always say.

Someday, when I get some alone time, I may start some groups myself. What about the “Real Dogs Need Treats” group or the “Take Me to the Doggie Park NOW” group? How’d you like to become a fan of “Give Obie All the Steak He Wants” or (my fave) “Make Sure Obie Never Stays Home Alone”?
 

What I really wonder about, though, are those never-ending quizzes. My friends keep answering crazy questions about me—things I’ve never thought about. Who cares whether I can do magic tricks or not? D’ya think somebody heard about the way I made Susie’s cell phone disappear? And does anyone really wonder about my favorite outfit? One dog, one coat, one lifetime. Just the way God designed it. The one about top movies is a little better. 101 Dalmatians, what else? I’ve only seen it a gazillion times. But when it comes to my secret crush—seriously! Mama’s the only one for me. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ with it.

Yep, you can find lots of sweet stuff on Facebook. And—if what I see on my page is right—you can waste lots of time there, too. Susie has a Facebook, too. But I’m glad she does other stuff besides answer dumb questions all day. She’s a mama—she knows way too much. What happens on the kitchen table stays on the kitchen table. That’s all I’m sayin’!

If you love Facebook, be sure to add Obie Shellenberger as a friend. But hey—try to move on. God’s got a whole beautiful world out there waiting for you. And you don’t have to click anything to enjoy it!