She was an average teenager. Probably about 13 or 14 years old. Old enough to be engaged in her culture. And by the time Mary was 15 or 16, she’d be a married woman and maybe even pregnant. That was the custom.

One day Mary strolled home from school with her friends. They were all in the same situation—all engaged. (Mary’s fiancé was a young man named Joseph.) The girls chatted about how much homework they had, their favorite TV shows and, of course, their future husbands.

Mary was excited about her life. Sometime earlier, she decided that her identity was going to be in God. She could clearly remember the night that she gave her life to Him. She told the Lord that He could have every bit of her. She wanted Him to be in control of her life and to own her. She said she’d be willing to do whatever He wanted, go wherever He wanted her and be available whenever He called her.

Mary told God that her time, talents, abilities and everything she owned—her body, mind and spirit—belonged to Him. She was building a solid identity on the most solid of foundations.

Mary’s conversation with her friends soon turned to her love for God. She talked about how she wanted to be the kind of God honoring woman and wife that Solomon described in his book of wisdom (check it out in Proverbs 31:10-31).

Mary Faces an Identity Test
At youth group that night, Mary’s youth pastor, Rob, spoke about commitment to God. He pointed to Proverbs 20:27: “The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.”

Rob made it clear that God looks at the heart of a person and that we should do things based upon our character, not just on what we say we’ll do. He challenged them to be committed enough to God to die for Him.

But Mary knew the real question that would test her identity. It wasn’t “Would you die for God?” Instead, it was “Will you live for Him? Will you really allow Him to have control?” She thought about this often.

Later, in her bedroom, Mary brushed her hair and went over Rob’s message in her mind. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of someone standing in the corner.

She turned—it was a man in her room! “Hail, favored one,” he said. “The Lord is with you.”

Mary freaked out. Who is this guy? What’s he talking about? And how’d he get inside my bedroom?

She was too scared to scream, and there was no place to run, because he was between her and the door. “Don’t be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.”

Before Mary could respond, the messenger told her about a plan God had for her. “First, you’re going to have a baby. He’s going to be a boy, and you should name Him Jesus. He’s going to be the Great One, the Son of the Most High God. He’ll reign over Israel on the throne of David, and His kingdom will be endless and eternal.”

When the messenger said this, Mary’s thoughts went back to countless Sunday school and Bible study lessons about the Messiah. Everyone expected Him, and everyone hoped His coming would be in their lifetime. Could this be it? she wondered. This is huge!

Then her mind went back to the first part of the man’s statement: “You’re going to have a baby.”

Mary took a deep breath. Small problem here. “I’m a virgin,” she explained. “How am I supposed to have a baby?”

Identity Under Fire
Whoa. Hold on. This isn’t what I signed up for when I said I was going to live for God, she may have thought.

This was a defining point, a test of Mary’s identity. Was she really the woman she claimed to be? God wasn’t asking her to die for Him; God was asking her to have her entire life turned upside down for Him.

And Mary’s question about how God was going to accomplish His plans since she was a virgin wasn’t just about sex.

It was an honest question, and it was loaded with meaning. Remember, she was engaged to a man named Joseph.

Their families had arranged this marriage and had planned a great wedding to unite their families.

Also, Mary knew how conception worked; that was the easy part.

She was admitting that she and Joseph weren’t sexually active, but she also knew that if this child was the Son of the Most High, then Joseph wouldn’t be the one getting her pregnant. This was going to be confusing!

The heavenly messenger told her that the Holy Spirit and the power of God would come upon her, and God would impregnate her. Because God is the Creator of everything, and because He is in control of conception anyway, this wasn’t too far of a stretch for Mary to accept.

But by now she was probably wondering how she’d explain it all to her parents. They’ll never believe this. God supernaturally got me pregnant? Who’s going to believe that? They’ll be so hurt. The more I try to explain, the more they’ll think I’m just trying to protect Joseph—or some guy they conjure up in their minds. What am I going to do?

After all, there weren’t any cases in which God had impregnated anyone in the rest of Scripture. It wasn’t as if God had done this before. Mary was risking huge rejection from her family on this one. She would probably have to watch them be incredibly hurt with no way to relieve their pain. She would most likely have to live the rest of her life alone. She kept asking, “How can this be?”

At that moment Mary had to check who she was. Am I really God’s? Is that where my identity really lies? She knew that her identity couldn’t be built on the foundation of making her parents happy or on what her family thought of her. It needed to be built on God. If she’d die for God, she could certainly be rejected and lonely for Him.

Obedience Costs
People just aren’t going to understand, Mary told herself.

She knew her choice was going to result in some bad repercussions. The people around her would probably be judgmental. Church friends may condemn her. She could hear it in her mind: “You’re not hanging out with Mary anymore. She’s promiscuous and deceitful.” Mary wasn’t stupid. She knew this might cost her some friendships.

If Mary’s identity was built on the foundation of popularity or constantly seeking the approval of the crowd, Mary’s world would have fallen apart. But she belonged to God. Her identity was founded on the Rock. But if she would die for Him, then she could certainly be judged wrongly, be condemned and suffer for Him. She’d also have to give up some things she held dear.

Giving up the Other Identity
What would happen when she started looking pregnant? No more cute clothes. No more sitting in a school desk listening to lectures. School desks aren’t built for pregnant people.

What if she got morning sickness? She’d probably miss a lot of classes or be forced to leave in the middle of a lecture. And what about the volleyball team? She’d have to quit—an eight-month pregnant setter just doesn’t do the job very well. She’d also have to give up her entire extracurricular life, such as her part-time job at the market.

Yes, pregnancy was going to take a toll on her body. She’d be huge, and she’d be tired. She’d have all that water weight, back pain and maybe even some tooth decay.

As Mary imagines her life without school, volleyball, cute clothes and being in shape, she probably had less of a difficult time with the thought of giving these things up than she did with other challenges: breaking up with Joseph, hurting her parents or being rejected by her friends. After all, she could give things up for God. It would be difficult, but her identity wasn’t built on things, it was built on God.

Mary wouldn’t let the style of her clothes, her friends’ opinions, her intelligence or her talents define who she was. She was God’s.

She knew that if she had God, she had everything. If she had everything but didn’t have God, she had nothing. I can give up everything for You, God, she prayed. Then, because it was the season of scary thoughts in her life, her mind turned once again to the horrible fear that had been there since the beginning of these strange events: Joseph!

Can I really give up the love of my life? What will I tell him?

Although this marriage was arranged, she had grown to love Joseph very much, and he loved her, too. They were excited about their wedding and had talked on the phone almost every night, planning the celebration.

Mary had to consider losing Joseph. She knew that if she had God, she had everything. But this was really hard.

Mary knew that her identity couldn’t rest in her relationships. She knew that God had given her Joseph, and she came to the conclusion that God could also take him away. She knew she had to be content with the Lord. If her identity was built upon the foundation of a human relationship, then her life would fall apart if that relationship went away.

Settling into Her Secure Identity
Mary’s identity was built upon the solid foundation of God even though it was hard to understand His plan. “How can this be?” she asked.

The angel answered by telling her that nothing was impossible with God. Mary probably knew that in her mind. But now it must have truly resonated within her identity. At that moment, she realized she belonged to God; she existed to bring God glory. She realized that God’s plan was perfect and that He would be in control of this impossible situation.

Identity Check: What About You?
Let’s bring this plane in for a landing. Let’s talk about your identity.

Are you convinced that if you’re going to be a genuine Christian on your campus, your identity MUST rest upon a solid foundation?

Can you follow in the footsteps of Mary and let her example be your guide?

It won’t be easy. Remember that Mary was ready to lose her family, friends . . . and her guy. She knew that if she’d die for God, then she could also suffer for Him, or be lonely, or be judged and wrongly condemned for Him. She knew she was secure, even if she was rejected or if her reputation was slandered. Her life and identity were built on God.

When Mary said, “May it be as you have said,” she was agreeing to be part of God’s plan. She was willfully lining up her identity with her will.

On the other hand, what if Mary had said, “I have some problems with this, so I’m going to pass on the pregnant thing”? She would have missed a great ride that God was going to take her on. After all, God would send the Messiah into the world with or without Mary.

What if she had said, “I’d love to be the mother of the Messiah, but can we talk about some of the details? Can you wait until I graduate? Or, if that’s not convenient, can you at least wait until volleyball season is over?”

If that were Mary’s attitude, God may have given this awesome opportunity to another girl. But Mary thought it through and, because her identity was rooted in God, she decided that He far outweighed anything she’d encounter.

She knew that the storm would come, but her identity was built on God and nothing else. Her statement showed that she agreed to be God’s woman in this plan. And the best part? After she agreed, Mary realized that she’d be blessed among all women throughout the ages. Just listen to the thrill in her voice as she lifted her heart in gratitude and praise to God.

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name” (Luke 1:46-50).

Did You Get It?
She says that her soul glorifies the Lord. All that she is exists for God’s glory. In other words, the only reason she’s alive is so God will be praised and honored through her life.

Isn’t that an amazing way to live?

Do you know that’s the same reason YOU exist?

God made you for His glory. You are (that’s your identity) because of Him.

Your identity is the real you, the person you are when nobody sees you. And you can’t have two identities. You can’t be one person at church and another person at school (one of those so-called identities will be fake).

You can’t turn an identity on or off. Your identity shines through in the decisions you make, the attitudes you express and the words you speak. Mary’s identity was consistent. It permeated her thoughts, decisions and actions.

Invite Him to be in control of every part of you—your heart, body and mind. Understand that you exist for His pleasure.

Think about it!

It makes wise sense to say that anything that can fade away, be taken away or can change isn’t a solid foundation. The only thing that’ll last forever is Jesus. Will you build your identity on that lasting foundation this Christmas?

If this if your heart’s desire, let’s pray about it:

Wanna go even deeper? Check out “Seven Questions Regarding your Identity” at susiemag.com.

Reprinted from How to Stay Christian in High School by Steve Gerali. Copyright 2004. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, Colo. All rights reserved. To purchase a copy of this book, call 800-366-7788 or go to www.navpress.com.