What would your friends say if you suddenly showed up at church in a hijab (the Arabic word for a Muslim head covering)?

I do this every so often, and I’m surprised at the reactions I get. People glance my way, do a double take and then look away quickly as if they’ve been caught staring.

This unwelcome attention makes me feel like an outcast. It’s as though they want to ask me, “What are you doing in my church?”

Nobody’s ever blurted out, “Are you a terrorist?” or told me, “You don’t belong here!” Still, I can sense their wariness—suspicion mixed with fear.

None of this feels good. Once on the way to a church, I stopped at a convenience store for something to drink. Because of my head covering, I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. My hijab made me feel too uncomfortable—like an unwanted outsider.

Why do I dress this way if it causes such strong reactions? Stick with me!

Love Connection
You might say my Muslim dress is a labor of love. For several years, I served as a missionary in closed Muslim countries. (A closed country is any country where missionaries are illegal. Christians who live and work in these countries can run businesses, teach English or provide medical care but can’t serve as official missionaries.)

My missionary work taught me tons about God and His love for all people. I made some great friendships with Muslims and, along the way, learned that they aren’t all like those we see in the news. Many of them want to please God but believe He’s far away. All they can do is follow a bunch of rules and hope that’s enough to satisfy Him. They’re sure they can’t know Him as Father and Friend. In fact, they don’t realize they can know Him at all.

Now that I live in America again, I visit different churches to talk to God’s people about how much He loves Muslims—and how they can, too.

Hijabs, But No Hope
Because I know what it’s like to show up at church in a head covering, I think a lot about how it must feel for Muslim girls all over America to wear their hijabs to school, to the mall or to ball games.

What about your school? You might see a Muslim girl or two (or more) there. They wear head coverings, too—maybe because of personal faith, maybe just to make their families happy. My guess is that they feel like freaks. They keep their eyes down because they don’t want to see the way you and others look at them. They’re waiting to be rejected, made fun of or looked at with suspicion and fear.

Do you have Muslim girls in your school or elsewhere in your world? It’s likely that people avoid them—perhaps out of worry or prejudice. Most people don’t know how to act around Muslims, so avoiding them is an easier choice.

The reality: Very few of these young women have a religious or political agenda. Did you know that most Muslim girls were born into Muslim families? These young women feel as though they have no other choice. Denying Islam (the Muslim religion) would probably mean total rejection from their family and community. They would be completely alone.

Their religion places high expectations on them but doesn’t offer them much in the way of reward. Islam requires that women follow a number of strict rules. These include keeping covered and standing in a separate area in the back of the mosque to recite their prayers. But their holy book, the Koran, says nothing about what women receive if they go to heaven. (According to the Koran, men will receive eternal bliss with wine and 72 wives. What’s a woman’s reward—being one of the 72 for all eternity? That’s not much hope for the future!)

Be the Answer
Now that you understand a little about what it’s like to be a Muslim girl, can you imagine any of them having the nerve to walk into your church? What if they wanted to know about God? Even if they had the nerve to show up, how could they ever do so without sparking major issues in their family and community? And even if those things weren’t a problem, would the people in your youth group help them feel wanted and accepted?

So, if coming to church isn’t much of an option, how will these girls ever find out how much God loves and values them?

You guessed it: You’re the answer. Keep reading to find out how.

Be a Friend
I’ve lived in Muslim countries and had wonderful, fun relationships with women there. I don’t want you to miss out on some great friendships just because you don’t know how to start! Let me share some things I’ve learned about making
Muslim friends:

1. SPEAK THE TRUTH: You’re a daughter of the King of Kings. You are valued, loved and treasured by God Himself. And even if she doesn’t know Jesus, God loves your Muslim friend, too. She’s probably never heard about His love. Can you tell her?
2. SMILE A WHILE: Next time you see a Muslim girl, instead of glancing and looking away because you don’t want to stare, make eye contact and give a real smile. Her response may surprise you!
3. KEEP IT SIMPLE: After you’ve smiled at her a few times, just walk up one day and say hi. Ask if you can sit next to her.
4. SHOW YOU CARE: She’s more than a Muslim; she’s a person. She has her own set of hopes, dreams and disappointments. Be curious about her, not just her religion.

Mission Accomplished
The best way to reach a Muslim girl is by building a relationship with her and being Jesus to her. Maybe that sounds frightening. It’s always scary to reach out to someone you don’t feel comfortable around. But here’s a tip: She’s probably feeling much more scared and vulnerable than you are!

Can you reach past being comfortable for Jesus’ sake? Can you be a friend to a Muslim girl? If God calls you to do this, He promises to give you the strength and courage you need.

And guess what! If you reach out on His behalf, you’re a missionary! Pretty cool of God to send the mission field to you, huh? You don’t have to get on a plane and move to a foreign country. You don’t even have to live in a mud hut or eat bugs.

All you have to do is love someone Jesus already loves. You have to love her enough to make a difference.

Are you willing? If so, I have some encouragement for you from one missionary to another: I’m proud of you. So is God. Go for it!

Kimberly Rae has lived in Bangladesh, Kosovo, Uganda and Indonesia. She’s rafted the Nile River, watched an arranged marriage ceremony and once ate cow brains just to say she’d done it. (They tasted like play-doh!) She now lives in Ohio with her husband and two young children.

Wearing Your Faith

Whenever I dress in my Muslim clothes, I realize that—like it or not—I represent an entire belief system.

When you get dressed in the morning, whom do you represent? Does what you wear reflect the world’s belief system or the values of Christ’s kingdom?

Your clothes may not be as obvious as a hijab, but they tell people a lot about who you are and what you stand for. And if your skin-tight shirt draws as much attention as a head covering, are you truly representing Christ?

Friendship by Design
Use these conversation-builders with a Muslim girl from another country!

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, where are you from originally?”

“Wow! I’d love to visit there someday. You must really miss it.”

“How long have you lived in America?”

If she’s lived here less than five years:

“I bet it’s kind of weird living here. Is it hard?”

Give her a chance to open up and share some tough things about life in America. Don’t go on about how great America is, especially compared to her country. Remember: the U.S. is the foreign country to her! Instead, tell her about a time when you moved and how hard it was to adjust or a time when you felt like an outsider.

If she opens up and you feel comfortable:
“Have people been nice to you since you came here?”

Again, let her open up and be honest. You’ll gain her trust if she senses you understand.

If she’s been treated badly or ignored:
“Wow, I’m so sorry people have treated you that way. Sometimes people don’t know what to say, so they tell you something stupid instead. I think you’re cool. Could you tell me more about your hometown?”

After you’ve talked awhile:
“Well, I’ve got to get going. It was fun talking to you. See you at school tomorrow. Hey, could you bring some pictures from where you used to live?”

Once you’ve spoken a few times, invite her to get together after school.
Her family may not allow it, but keep talking to her anyway. If she has permission to spend after-school time with you, do things as a twosome before you go anywhere with a group.

As your friendship grows and she becomes more comfortable, invite her to a youth group activity. If possible, tell your friends about her visit ahead of time.

That way, they can pray—and be ready to welcome her, too.

Spiritual Don’ts

Girls you DON’T want to be to your new Muslim friend:
• Salvation Sally: Don’t come across as someone who only cares about converting her to your faith.
• Religious Rosalind: Don’t ask personal questions about spiritual matters the first few times you talk with her.
• Theological Thelma: Don’t tell her all the wrong things she believes about Jesus or Christianity.
• Pressure-Packed Patty: In the beginning, don’t discuss your beliefs that Jesus is the Son of God or that He died on the Cross. Muslims find these topics extremely sensitive and controversial. Earn the right to share your faith.

Begin by showing your Muslim gal pal how much God loves her as a person and you’ll have a huge head start. After all, God designed her the same way He made you. That means He has incredible plans for you both.

The Basics

Muslim Beliefs
Review the basic Muslim belief statements below. See if you can identify any true statements and mark them with a star. Truth makes a great place to begin a conversation with your new Muslim friend.

• There’s only one God.
• It’s the ultimate sin to “associate partners” with God (as in the Trinity).
• God created everything.
• We should deeply reverence God.
• God knows everything and can do anything.
• God is merciful and forgiving.
• All people sin, but it’s mostly because they’re forgetful. God is forgiving, especially if the people had good intentions.
• The Holy Spirit is the angel Gabriel.
• Jesus was born of a virgin.
• Jesus lived a perfect life and never sinned.
• Jesus was a good teacher and healed the sick.
• Jesus didn’t die on a cross. God would never let His prophet die such a shameful death, so He took Jesus up to heaven and had Judas die in His place.
• There’s no way to really know if you’ll go to heaven when you die.
• If you’re a Muslim, the more rules you keep and the less wrong you do, the more likely that God will let you into heaven.
• You can’t ever know if you’re truly forgiven.
• No one can really know God.