Everyone reading this article either attends public school, private school or is home-schooled. But if you’re one of the many girls who are home-schooled, you’ve probably been asked questions such as these:
“Don’t you miss being around people?”
“Does your mom let you do school in your pajamas?”
“You don’t really even have to do anything, do you?”
Yep, I remember what it was like. I was a home-school girl not too long ago, and my usual internal answer to the first question was: “Obviously, I am around people or you wouldn’t be talking to me right now, Dude.”
The second question bothered me, because I couldn’t see what difference it really made if I wore pajamas or jeans. Algebra is algebra no matter what you’re wearing, right? So what’s the big deal? (For the record, I didn’t do school in my pajamas . . . much.)
And the third question just infuriated me. Oftentimes, home-schoolers work harder and faster than those in public or private school, because they don’t have to wait on the rest of the class.
Thinking It Through
So if you’re a home-school girl, how do you answer these kinds of questions? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but since graduating from home-schooling and from college, I’ve noticed some things that I wish I’d realized sooner. I grew up in an area of the United States that was fairly accepting of home-schoolers, but I still remember the stereotypes and comments that followed me around and still occasionally do today.
• “You don’t look like a home-schooler.”
• “So, you’re super book smart, right?”
• “Have you ever taken a real test?”
• “Do you know what TV is?”
• “Do you have any friends?”
My absolute favorite reaction to the fact that I was a home-schooler didn’t actually happen until I was in college. By the way, let me say that once you get to college, most people don’t care where you went to school before that. So don’t stress too much about all the questions and funny reactions we sometimes get when we say we’re home-schooled. They won’t last forever.
My Experience
Anyway, back to my story: I was a junior in college, and I was eating lunch with some friends. Somebody brought up the subject of the prom, and of course, being a normal group of girls, we all went around the circle and described our prom dresses. I listened, but I’d been in this conversation so many times that I was fine with not having a prom story to tell. Life’s still good without prom, ya know? It wasn’t a big deal anymore.
Well, one of the girls asked me about my prom and when I said that I didn’t go, she asked where I went to high school.
“I was homeschooled,” I said.
Shocked silence filled our little corner of the bustling university student union. I choked on a laugh inspired by her dropped down jaw and wide eyes.
“Seriously?” she said. “But you’re so normal!”
Wow. Have you ever wished you could make people understand that you’re not from outer space just because you do your math at the kitchen table rather than at a school desk? I did. In fact, I got pretty frustrated at times—especially when my public school friends were giving me a hard time about not being in classes with them. I wasn’t so different from them, was I?
The Story Continues
Even now, if I’m honest, I still want to slap the shock right off their faces sometimes. But the truth is that you and I don’t have to do that. Even though you may feel like you have to make your friends understand why you’re home-schooled, you really don’t need to justify it to them. Just like they don’t have to justify to you why they go to public school or private school.
It’s all about God’s will for us, not what’s considered “normal” by everyone else. Sometimes God’s plan for our lives looks strange to the rest of the world, but that’s OK as long as we’re finding our satisfaction in Him. Sounds kind of like the Christian walk too, doesn’t it? What does God’s Word say our attitudes should be as Christians?
“Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives. Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God’s emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government” (1 Peter 2:11-17 The Message).
God Has a Specific Plan for You
Granted, this passage is talking about our role as Christians in the world, but can we apply this Scripture to our attitudes as homes-choolers? The truth? We can apply it to ourselves no matter where we go to school! This tells me that when I’m happily and respectfully telling someone “this is where God has me now” and “this is who I am,” people’s prejudices and ignorant talk won’t matter anymore. Maybe the person I’m talking to will still think I’m a weirdo, but that’s no longer important to me; pleasing God is.
Christ has you exactly where you right now for a special reason. Maybe you wish He’d change things or take you down a different road. It’s OK to feel that way. But try to remember that God has a specific plan for YOU. I wasn’t always the happiest home-schooler, but now I’m grateful for the path God placed me on for that time in my life.
What Home-schoolers Are Saying
What are some of the hardest things home-school girls face?
“Being stereotyped as ‘the weird people who do a lot of school’ and trying to stay calm after being stuck with your siblings for hours on end.” —Abby, 13
“One of the hardest things I face as a home-school girl is procrastination. It’s so easy for me to put things off.” —Alesha, 14
“Sometimes it’s hard to find other home-schoolers my age. And we’re sometimes stereotyped as nerds. That hurts.” —Mary, 16
What’s the No. 1 thing you wish people knew about home-schoolers?
“We’re actually normal people!” —Abby
“I wish people knew that home-schoolers have a lot of friends. For some reason, it’s a widespread myth that home-schoolers aren’t social. I don’t understand where that came from! I have so many friends.” —Alesha
“We’re normal!” —Mary
What’s the best thing about being a home-school girl?
“I don’t have to wake up early to get ready for school, and I can usually get my school work done pretty quickly.” —Abby
“I can have one-on-one time with the teacher—my mom. I understand things much better if she’s there to help explain it. Also, I don’t have any homework in the evenings.” —Alesha
“Not having to get up early and get ready every day; freedom to go at my own pace and pick which subjects to study.” —Mary
The question we all hear: Do you do your schoolwork in your pajamas?
“Ha! Sometimes I do.” —Abby
“I’ve heard this question a lot! Nope, I’m not allowed to wear my pajamas while doing school. I have to be dressed and have my bed made before I come out of my room in the morning. It would be kind of funny to try it though.” —Alesha
“Of course.” —Mary
Why did your parents decide to home-school you?
“So that they could teach me the Truth. That’s the main reason.” —Abby
“I was in public school from kindergarten to the first half of first grade, and my parents decided to home-school me because they didn’t like what was being taught.” —Alesha
“They wanted to give me a love for learning. And God laid it on their hearts to do it by home-schooling me.” —Mary
What’s your favorite subject in school?
“That’s a hard question for me.” —Abby
“My favorite subject is English. I love writing stories and poems. I also like reading.” —Alesha
“Probably literature, because I love to read.” —Mary
How has home-schooling affected who you are?
“Because I spend so much time with my family, I’ve become very close with my brothers. It’s really nice to have your best friends be your brothers. And it’s helped keep me strong in the Lord.” —Abby
“It’s made me a more responsible person. I’m probably a stronger Christian than I’d be if I went to public school, because I don’t have to deal with as much peer pressure.” —Mary
Has God taught you something special through the process of home-schooling that you’d like to share?
“I guess it would be to follow Him even when I don’t know what He’s doing. Sometimes I get really frustrated and just want to quit, but I know He has a special plan for me.” —Abby
“Through my science class, and other Christian books that I study in school, my faith has been strengthened. I have evidence for my views on Creation.” —Alesha
Lindsey Rodman is a former intern for SUSIE Magazine. She’s currently involved in ministry with teen girls at Crossings Church in Okla. City, Okla.